Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
