he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Even my vagina gasped.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
