its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
