now i know why i became what i already was.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
