I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
