I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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