Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
