my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
