So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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