FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
PANTIES FOUND
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