Can Purell be used as lube?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
