Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize