I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
