I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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