I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
