All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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