you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
