some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
