she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize