So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
