is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
