My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize