Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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