just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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