butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
