I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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