I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
