so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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