He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
