i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
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So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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