One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize