sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize