Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
