I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
don't judge my taste in strippers
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
