Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
