I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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