When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Found your dick twin last night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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