He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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