The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i drank out of a bidet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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