There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
