Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need water and some morals
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
