this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
PANTIES FOUND
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
