he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize