Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
