WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
How naked do you want me to be?
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