Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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