marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
