Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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