Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
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I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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