we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
