Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
