Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
