I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
