I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
