She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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