using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
