Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
