What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
