doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
