Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
