You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
