We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize