Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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