No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
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why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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