This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
