I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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