Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
