Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
