OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
