Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?

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  (702): what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack? http://tfl.nu/aynk
  Replies (19) Good night (4648) Bad night (1017)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.

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  (440): Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan. http://tfl.nu/6sdz
  Replies (8) Good night (3580) Bad night (876)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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  (215): I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/glp8
  Replies (6) Good night (1215) Bad night (4037)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.

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  (414): Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after. http://tfl.nu/9oxv
  Replies (41) Good night (1381) Bad night (7719)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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  (+64): I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer http://tfl.nu/8v2s
  Replies (14) Good night (1777) Bad night (3594)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again

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  (775): FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again http://tfl.nu/fzl1
  Replies (25) Good night (6797) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.

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  (609): You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line. http://tfl.nu/s6mt
  Replies (27) Good night (2912) Bad night (1914)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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  (443): we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it. http://tfl.nu/i4yi
  Replies (13) Good night (4140) Bad night (819)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...

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  (215): There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave... http://tfl.nu/jtzo
  Replies (9) Good night (2937) Bad night (2643)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

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  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2641) Bad night (975)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.

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  (806): Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain. http://tfl.nu/iymf
  Replies (16) Good night (3308) Bad night (1036)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.

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  (205): Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420. http://tfl.nu/zl7d
  Replies (3) Good night (1338) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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  (307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5
  Replies (4) Good night (481) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.

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  (440): Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday. http://tfl.nu/90jw
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.

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  (252): I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough. http://tfl.nu/my82
  Replies (1) Good night (1048) Bad night (358)

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