I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
not ubering you a puppy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard