so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
